where have i clicked now?"
alan's wacky weird web
Notes...This place is constructed purely of H T M L with no clunky frames; no <blinkin'> no flashin' animatin' GIFs, no scrollin' java doodads... not even a stinkin' GIF. That's it. Well, at least for the first page. It's anarchy from here down. Beware of the maniac on the loose.
Well, actually there is one GIF; you just cannot see it. And a JPEG, painterly goofed up in PhotoShop. Now we, the royal wem are multimedia. Excuse the look here, very little of my time is spent in the vanity section.
So who would really want to learn more about me? There is more than you ever want to know. My photo. My bicycle. My fingerprint. My dog. My encrusted coffee mug . My credit card numbers (now you gotta click, eh? just itching to click? how can you not click? just what kind of net surfer are you?)
I have written many werds of extreme value only to me-- the book deals are jusy not flowing in here. Go ahead, mingle among the single digit hit count areas of my web. Travel with me. Hike in my boots. Laugh out loud. Go click somewhere else. See if I care. There's a reason I've yet to be published in a major literary journal or monkey face on a putrid pink cover of WiReD.
And gawk at my fotos-- I have a camera. I have a scanner. ("I scan, therefore I am.") showing that, oh yes, I seek spectacular remoteness. I bring them to you, all in the comfort of your web browser. If you still have appetite for more visual decor, how about some grafix leftovers-- I make lots of pix on the computer. Some people actually enjoy looking at them. Or at least they do not walk away snickering and giggling.
Here is what I do at würk. I am serious! They actually pay dinero for this stuff. Crazy world. I love it. And for something of documentation, take a gander at my a QUOTE-UNQUOTE e-resumé. If you insist, make me an offer, but make it un-refu$able.
Of late, much of my handiwork is enshrined in the web site for the Maricopa Center for Learning & Instruction. And if you are not yet satiated with the alan-centric universe here is more junk that I also make on the computer. And if you need something to wash all of this down with, take a stroll over the alan's nojava shop, and please be shock(wave)ed..
If you have not figured it out, the webstyle here is a high flattery imitation of Dave Siegel's techniques. For those that are not initiated, his stufff cut the edge of flat and ugly state of the web.
This site was authored and maintained by Alan Levine in the late 1990s while employed at the Maricopa Community Colleges. I guess we don't need a disclaimer anymore!